safety PLEASURE respect forum

On Tuesday night the 19th of Febuary the forum on Safety Pleasure Respect

exploring the concept of pleasure in sex education, was held.



We had 34 people in attendance coming from a variey of work and non work situations. There were DRs, nurses,youth workers, community health workers, teachers, peer educators, trainers and more.

The forum started with a brief 'sex education' video clip taken from Monty Pythons, "The Meaning of Life" (chapter 5 or 6)

From here there was a panel of 4 young people answering pre set questions about sex and pleasure - giving the room a perspective about sexual health and relationships education that some had perhaps not heard before. The panel were a hilite of the forum, speaking with a frankness and honesty that is so often lacking in the discourse of pleasure. (Below are the questions asked of the panel)


Panel questions - Scenario

“ You have been asked to be on a triple J radio show discussing the merits of education about pleasure/sex in sex education programs – Triple J has just taken up some research that had been tabled in Parliament citing that ‘ sex education in this country is failing because we are missing a discourse on pleasure and young people want a discourse on pleasure in their sex education’

Question 1: Why do most programs encourage young people to have LESS sex and focus on the risks and harm minimisation when research indicates an active sex life is important for one's sense of well-being ?


Question 2: “The reproductive focus of sex education and its silence on sexual pleasure, female desire, and relationships does little to communicate effective strategies for managing sexual safety.”
How would you define pleasure and what do YOU think is the relationship between pleasure and sexual behaviour?


Question 3: Do you think that including education for pleasure (for young people) could have a role in creating safer and healthier environments for women, where violence is tolerated less? Why/why not?


Question 4: Are you aware of myths about orgasms and sex? If so what are some of these AND how could you overcome these myths?


Question 5: “The orgasm gap” 7% of men ages 18 – 29 do not achieve orgasm versus 26% of women ages 18 to 29 and 79% of boys have an orgasm with first intercourse compared to 7% of girls.
Why do you think it is ? AND Is there anything that might be done to change this discrepancy?


Question 6: Just over a quarter (25.9%) of all sexually active students report that they have had unwanted sex at some time in their lives.
In your opinion is sex ONLY about pleasure if not what else is it about? Do you think education about pleasure would make a difference to these statistics?


Question 7: Unsafe sex is the second most important risk factor for disability and death in the world’s poorest communities and the ninth most important in developed countries. Every year, more than 120 million couples have an unmet need for contraception, 80 million women have unintended pregnancies (45 million of which end in abortion), more than half a million women die from complications associated with pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period, and 340 million people acquire new gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia, or trichomonas infections.
How could you discuss sexual intercourse in a way that would make people feel less uncomfortable? What could you tell people about sexual intercourse that might make a change to the figures quoted before?


Question 8: Overall 80% of same sex attracted young people found sex education at school to be useless or fairly useless. In other research young people say sex education is too little, too late and too biological.
What do you think effective sexuality education might look like?






After the panel (and after some giggles/laughs/food and a break) the participants were asked to do some groupwork and answer some questions themselves.


Below are the outcomes of group exercise that asked participants to answer three questions.

1. What does sexual pleasure mean?


2. How would you justify including this in a program?


3. What would pleasure in a sexuality education program look like.

COLLATED GROUPWORK RESPONSES

What does sexual pleasure mean?

Different things to different people makes you feel good/vibrant/tingle
Choice good about yourself
Orgasm anticipation
An experience you want to repeat strengthening an emotional bond
Individual feeling good – safe comfortable
Intimacy close/intimate/aroused
Without fear not necessarily having intercourse
More than just a pleasurable act not necessarily physical/could be emotional
The setting very individual and different at different times
Contains respect and trust experimentation
Enjoyable release
Allows you to share and trust alone or with others
Tantric stimulation
Melding connectedness
Touch/erotic desire
Arousal fun
Comfortable sharing
Communication giving / receiving


How would you justify including this in a program?

· How can you not?
· Natural/primal
· Empowering – knowing it’s okay to feel pleasure
· Consequences of leaving it out are endless ( low expectations/guilt/bad relationships
· Knowing- expectations-what your bottom line is
· Respect for self and others
· A promotion of safety/individuality
· If you don’t link sex with pleasure it becomes more biological/clinical therefore not an individual experience
· Don’t teach it as sex education/teach it as sexual health and relationships
· A good title can soften/alter/widen/open perceptions about talking about it
· Sexual safety and boundaries
· Children /teens are doing it, we can’t shut our eyes to it
· We need to educate students
· Knowing yourself and what you like helps you make clearer choices for yourself
· If sexual pleasure is the agenda, individuals make better choices which lead to less regret/trauma/negative consequences
· Reducing risks
· Harm minimisation
· Better health outcomes
· If you put sex and pleasure together you put more on the menu
· Teaching young people to know and respect self makes better choices for individuals/better outcomes for all


What would pleasure in a sexuality education curriculum look like?

· Accepting that pleasure for one may not translate to another
· Communication needed for individual pleasure ( with self or partner)
· Achieving mutual goals
· Discuss the non pleasurable aspects of sex – abortion
· Not specific as its all individual – but to say there is a reasonable expectation that there will be pleasure
· From an early age – straight away
· Using all your senses – ‘pleasure principle’
· Intimacy stuff
· Respect for yourself and others

OUTCOME

Of course these questions (and other unplanned ones) led to lots of discussion. What we decided it that: THIS IS JUST A BEGINNING. If we are going to identify if and how pleasure should be included in sexual health and relationships education then we need lots more discussion. Sooooo in response I (Lud Allen) will set up a website forum where we can continue to interact and discuss this issue/trade information and research findings/ and support each other in this journey.

If you would like to be part of this discussion then send me an email (or leave a comment on this blog with your email) and I will add you to this discussion list and send you a message when the forum is set up.