Consider Ageing

Working with young people around sexual health isn't just about being young, taking risks and enjoying sex.
In a comprehensive sexual health and relationships program we should also ask young people to consider ageing and sexuality. Why? Not just because all of us age. Not just out of respect, but also because this can give a mirror to the way media and dominant culture manipulates us as sexual beings. Acceptance of diversity is not just about GLBTIQ issues. It is also about acceptance of ageing sexuality, acceptance of non monagamies, acceptance of POSITVE SEXUALITIES regardless.

Adios Barbie has recently posted a series about ageing and sexuality/body image/beauty/etcetc.
Well worth a look. CLICK HERE  Remember teaching moments don't always focus on STIs, condom use and respectful relationships.

The Guide To Getting It On

I found this site yesterday thanks to Lauren Walker.
This is called 'The Guide To Getting It On' In this guide you will find (in graphic novel format) all sorts of Freebies, great stuff on sexual anatomy, birth control, the first time and much more.

Have a look HERE and let me know what you think.




But there is even more like:

How to & Then Some

• 1. In the Beginning.....page 11
• 2. Romance.....page 17
• 3. Kissing.....page 23
• 4. The Importance of Getting Naked.....page 31
• 5. On the Penis.....page 41
• 6. Semen Confidential.....page 67
• 7. What’s inside a Girl.....page 77
• 8. The Hymen.....page 107
• 9. Orgasms, Sunsets & Hand Grenades.....page 115
• 10. Talking to Your Partner about Sex.....page 131
• 11. Sex Lubes—A New Look.....page 137
• 12. Sex Legal.....page 145
• 13. Handjobs.....page 149
• 14. Balls, Balls, Balls.....page 167
• 15. The Zen of Finger Fucking.....page 177
• 16. The Prostate & Male Pelvic Underground.....page 203
• 17. Doing Yourself in Your Partner?s Presence.....page 219
• 18. Nipples, Nipples, Nipples.....page 223
• 19. Oral Sex—Penises & Popsicles.....page 231
• 20. Oral Sex—Vulvas & Honey Pots.....page 257
• 21. Massage—The Ultimate Tenderness.....page 279
• 22. Intercourse—Horizontal Jogging.....page 281
• 23. Anal Sex—Up Your Bum.....page 309
• 24. Playing with Yourself.....page 327
• 25. Oscillator, Generator, Vibrator, Dildo.....page 345
• 26. Fun with Your Foreskin.....page 357
• 27. Sex Fantasies.....page 367

Plus

Your First Time

• 28. Goodbye V-Card—Your First Intercourse.....page 375
• 29. The First Time—Not What You’d Think.....page 385

Technology & Culture

• 30. Better Mating Through Internet Dating.....page 389
• 31. Sex in Cyberspace.....page 393
• 32. Online Sexual Addiction—Really?.....page 403
• 33. MRIs of Sexual Arousal.....page 405

Orientation & Gender

• 34. Orientation in Flux.....page 409
• 35. Same-Sex Fun & Luvin?.....page 419
• 36. Gender Benders.....page 431
• 37. Intersex.....page 441

Sex & the Human Condition

• 38. Sex & Breast, Brain & Ball Cancer.....page 445
• 39. Bashful Bladder.....page 457
• 40. Sex & Diabetes.....page 459
• 41. Sex When You Are Horny & Disabled.....page 463
• 42. Snoring & Gas.....page 479
• 43. Sex & Hysterectomy.....page 483
• 44. Techno Breasts & Weenie Angst.....page 487
• 45. Basic Brain Weirdness.....page 499
• 46. Good Sex after Bad—Rape & Abuse.....page 507

Beyond Vanilla

• 47. Piercings & Tattoos.....page 529
• 48. Threesomes.....page 543
• 49. Double Penetration.....page 557
• 50. Kinky Corner.....page 561

Below the Belt

• 51. Vulva Care—Keeping Your Kitty Happy.....page 577
• 52. Surfing the Crimson Wave (Period Sex).....page 585
• 53. Clean Jeans, Tight Jeans & Shaving Down Below.....page 609
• 54. Hypospadias.....page 621
• 55. Gnarly Sex Germs.....page 625
• 56. Premature Ejaculation—Dyslexia of the Penis.....page 637
• 57. Delayed Ejaculation.....page 655
• 58. When Your System Crashes.....page 665

Pregnancy (or Not) & Parenting

• 59. Abortion, Adoption.....page 683
• 60. Trying to Get Pregnant.....page 685
• 61. Sex During Pregnancy.....page 689
• 62. The Pill & Your Sex Drive.....page 705
• 63. Birth Control—Sperm vs. Egg.....page 713
• 64. Sex in Cyberspace for Parents.....page 733
• 65. Explaining Sex to Kids.....page 737
• 66. Love Dreams, Sex Dreams & Sweet Dreams.....page 759

Sex in History & Popular Culture

• 67. Hooking-Up Sex.....page 763
• 68. The Dirty Word Chapter.....page 777
• 69. Barbie the Icon.....page 785
• 70. The Historical Breast & Bra.....page 795
• 71. The Fruit of His Loom.....page 805
• 72. What’s Masculine, Feminine & Erotic.....page 809
• 73. Men’s & Women’s Experience of Sex.....page 815
• 74. The Horny Pill & Patch.....page 821
• 75. I Knew the Bride.....page 825
• 76. Sex in the Military.....page 83
• 77. Sex & God.....page 847
• 78. Sex in the 1800s.....page 849
• 79. Sex on the Interstate.....page 903
• 80. Kink in the Animal Kingdom.....page 907
• 81. Vaya Con Dios!.....page 911
• About the Illustrations.....page 913
• Glossary.....page 919
• Index.....page 983

What enhances sexual health?

I have just been reading lots of information regarding working with people with sexualised behaviours and sex offenders. One of the articles really struck a chord. The basic premise in this article is  that treatment imlpications should focus on working on a persons

• self esteem
• shame
• cognitive distortions (thoughts)
• empathy

This is not so different from the ideas that we have been saying for years in terms of sexual health and relationships education. SHARE is not just about giving the facts. It is also in a large part linking sexual health facts into the above 4 points, helping people explore these issues as it relates to them and helping them build on their own self belief to develop positive expressions of sexuality.

I will give an example of the above four points and relate them to Sexual Health and Relationships Education;

 Self Esteem: In a recent discussion with a young man he was saying that he would never get a girlfriend because as a lover he was as exciting as 'limp cabbage'

As it turns out this young man had never had sexual relationships beyond kissing. One of the people he had kissed said that his kiss was as exciting as limp cabbage. His sexual self esteem plummeted as a result of this and he decided to believe there was nothing he could do about this so he had better just 'give up'. Well we did some education about kissing/sex/intercourse/relationships/relationship skills.It was his knowledge that was lacking. In his case the partial solution was to educate and provide a safe space to explore his issues.

Shame: In a small group of young women the discussion turned to vulvas and it quickly became apparent that almost all of these young women were ashamed of THEIR OWN vulvas. Not only that but several of these women stated that they will never let someone (including themselves) explore their vulvas because they did not want them being compared to other peoples vulvas (mostly compared to vulvas they had seen on the internet). They made comments like " They are disgusting/dirty/weird. As it turns out this became a great session to explore such resoures as ' Petals' and 'I'll Show You Mine'.

I wish I had the big colouring book of vaginas at that stage.

Cognitive Distortions: A common cognitive distortion is from miscommunication theory that suggests that many incidents of coercion between heterosexuals are the result of miscommunication between men and women.The two most common being that" men overestimate women's interest in sex and women give token resistance to sex" (Melanie Beres 2009). Clearly these are distortions that we as SHARE educators can work on.

Empathy:: This is a bit of a hard one to describe and to give ideas on ways to work on it. Marshall, Hudson and Jones in 1995 offered a theoretical framework of four stages.

1. recognition of anothers emotional state
2. viewing the world from anothers perspective
3. experiencing compassion or replication of observed emotion
4. taking action to ameliorate others distress.

The way we tend to explore the idea of empathy in SHARE work is to ensure that we cover issues of diversity, sexual violence etc and explore these in terms of how people feel and respond. What current research is saying in terms of empathy is that empathy is situational (for example many people will not feel empathy for  a villain - or perceived villain). Therefore in SHARE work it is important to explore ranges of situations from many angles to expand on young peoples awareness of empathy.

Puberty Resource

Here is a link to an educational resource created for parents and young people an autism spectrum disorder.
However it is a really great guide for ANYBODY. The language is very clear and unambiguous, there are step by step instructions for things like changing pads or masturbating.

All of us can make use of this in some way I reckon.

Thanks to Sharon the SHineSA resource guru for passing this on.

CLICK HERE

Sex and the Law - Know what you tell people

I have recently been having an email conversation with a colleague. The conversations has been around what and how we teach people about the age of consent and the penalties for breaching the law.

I just want to remind people that even though we might say " It's no big deal if an 18 year old and a 16 year old are having consensual intercourse - heaps of young people are. ( In fact statistics tell us that approximately 50% of year 12s are having intercourse). IT CAN BE A BIG DEAL. Even though as an individual we might believe that consensual intercourse is okay between people under the legal age of consent (17 in South Australia). The ramifications can be huge.

Here is what part of the law says:

section 49 of the Crime Consolidation Act states


49—Unlawful sexual intercourse 


        (1)         A person who has sexual intercourse with any person under the age of 14 years shall be guilty of an offence and liable to be imprisoned forlife. 


        (3)         A person who has sexual intercourse with a person under the age of seventeen years is guilty of an offence. 


Maximum penalty: Imprisonment for 10 years. 

So... I know there is much more to the law and convictions than what I have put before you but to as responsible educators we should not dilute the very real (but rare) possibility that the young people we support may be putting their future at great risk.


Sure ....be sex positve but remember just like we should be teaching young people about the possible joys and pleasures of sexual relationships, we should also be teaching young people about the legal risks that they may be facing.

ONE FINAL THING:::

In terms of the role or those trying to empower youth to make the right choices (they also happen to be mandatory reporters in a good number of cases)  discussion about the law and sex has to take a constructive form...This discussion should simply not be approached from a legal perspective...there is too many issues that need to be spelled out and clarified. What young people need to know is that the law punishes violent, arbitrary, cohesive, repressive sex abusive sexual activity; that the law will punish those who take sexual advantage of others because of their immaturity or age (e.g. a 15 year old wants to have sex with a 10 year old); that sex is a natural part of human development that needs to be experienced with the outmost respect for the other. They should also know that there is an age of consent and that the law deems certain behaviour as evidence a person is not consenting. If the question of the legality/illegality of sex is framed in this way, I think it may have a much better effect on young people. Surely, service providers need to know the law in more depth, but legal explanations are best to those working in the area. 


   

Exploring Gender Resource

I found this video from one of the linkedin groups that I am a member of.
I have since used this as a way to explore gender with young people. We play the clip and then ask the group to come up with a dialogue to go with it.

Great fun.

SEX ETC Roadmap

I was just re reading this whole series of posts put up by SexEtc ( a website for teens) about how students can advocate for better sexual health education in thier schools While this roadmap is made for schools in the USA there is no reason that it cannot be used here in Oz and by other organisations as well.
Of course if YOU  live in South Australia and want to put something in YOUR school you can always contact SHineSA and talk to thier teacher educators about this stuff.

The Roadmap: A Teen Guide to Changing Your School's Sex Ed



The Sex, Etc. Teen Staff felt that teens deserve honest, accurate sexual health information, and they decided to do something about it. They developed The Roadmap: A Teen Guide to Changing Your School's Sex Ed. It is designed to give young people like you a voice in the debate over what teens should learn about sex in school and when they should learn it. You can make change happen!






The Roadmap’s step-by-step action plan will help lay the groundwork to convince your school board and community to provide better sexuality and health education. The Roadmap helps youth like you make a difference in your school or community. (You can even earn credit if your school requires a community service project for graduation.)






You will need the free software program Adobe Acrobat Reader to download and view The Roadmap. If you don’t already have it, get it here.

FRESH COURSE

Dont forget: If you work with young people and want to comfortably raise and explore issues of sexuality with them then the FRESH course may be just what you need. Next course starts THIS MONTH

Go here to see more

WHO SHOULD TEACH SHARE WORK?

Not long ago we saw research from Lagus KA, et al. (2010) Parental perspectives on sources of sex information for young people. J Adol Health online, 2011 which identified that  yes kids learn a great deal about sexuality from friends and from the media, but both  parents and teens agree: Parents should be the most important providers of information about sex and sexuality.(http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/213143.php)

So....... while most parents and young people agree that parents should be the primary source of information, according to a recent survey (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/234330.php), half of parents in the UK do not enlighten their children about puberty, relationships and sex, because they are unsure what to say, are embarrassed, or lack confidence and knowledge about sexual health. From 9,000 young people participating in the study, 46% revealed that they received 'nothing' or 'not a lot' of information on sex and relationships from their parents. 


This seems a bit wierd to me. BOTH want to engage with each other about sexual health YET neither does so. Maybe our sexual health and relationships education needs to change. Maybe it should be about how to get parents and children to engage on this issue.Maybe workers should start targeting parents in HOW to teach about this stuff instead of depending on teachers and youth workers. Hmmmm What do YOU think?

There is no privileged access to truth????

Yet again some people try to stop our young people getting the information essential for them to survive and make sense of the world we live in. I got the following post from Sexetc. A website for sex education by teens and for teens. You can have a look at thier website here.

Book Banned From New Jersey High School Library

Eighteen people recently complained about three books in a New Jersey high school library. What were they complaining about? How the books dealt with teen sexuality.

The books are Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology, Love and Sex: 10 Stories of Truth and The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing About Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Other Identities.

Go here to read more

Parents don't think thier kids are having sex

Many parents don't think their kids are interested in sex, but believe that everyone else's kids are, a new study reveals.

"Parents I interviewed had a very hard time thinking about their own teen children as sexually desiring subjects," said study researcher Sinikka Elliott, an assistant professor of sociology at North Carolina State University. "At the same time, parents view their teens' peers as highly sexual, even sexually predatory." Parents consistently characterized their children as young, immature and naïve.

Go here to read more

Education on Tyra Banks Show

As a sexual health and education educator myself it was great to find this video. I found it on the Kinsey Confidential page of the Kinsey Institute website. If you are working with yioung people and dont feel comfortable enough to explain the vulva, labia majora, labia minora,vagina, clitoris, and urethra; you may want to use this video.

Universal access to comprehensive sexual health education

The following is taken from the World Association for Sexual Health ( WAS) website. This is a great site for looking at the issue of sexual health from a global perspective. well worth a look. Of course as a sexual health and relationships educator this has my full support.

The World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) in its Declaration of Sexual Health for the Millennium considers comprehensive sexuality education as one of the foundations on which sexual health and general well‐being are built.
WAS proposes that to achieve universal access to comprehensive education the following actions are necessary:

• Mandate comprehensive, rights‐based, gender sensitive, and culturally appropriate sexuality education as a required component of schools’ curricula at all levels, and that the required resources be provided.

• Work with community agencies to reach out‐of‐school youth and other high risk populations with comprehensive sexuality education.

• Issue guidelines to ensure that sexuality education programs and services are grounded in the principle of fully informed, autonomous decision‐making.

• Ensure that sexuality education programs are evidence‐based and include the characteristics that have been shown to contribute to effectiveness. This should be done in a way that allows for creativity, and considers community specific needs in the development and evaluation of innovative programs.

what sexual scientists know

What Sexual Scientists Know...
The What Sexual Scientists Know About... series of brochures were developed to communicate sexuality research findings to the broader community through brief informational brochures about various sexuality related topics. These brochures will consider important sexual issues. There is no charge for an individual copy of a brochure. If you wish to order multiple copies or receive information about future brochures in this series, contact the publisher at:

Go here to see more

Some funny advertisements from the Just Say Dont Know website

Go here to see more.

SE&X course 2009

Hi all; lots of people have indicated that they are interested in attending the 2009 SE&X courses. Well.... places are already filling. If you are interested read about the course below and get in quick. I hope to see tou there!!

The SE&X Course (Sexuality Expression & Xploration) Youth worker education

Improving the sexual health of young people who are ‘at risk’

Australia has one of the poorest youth sexual health outcomes for developed countries. This means South Australia’s young people are experiencing more unwanted/unplanned pregnancies, more STIs, more abortions, suffering more coercion and violence in relationships, and less able to make healthy decisions or follow them through.

The SE&X course will improve the capacity and confidence of workers to engage with young people about relationships, sexual health, sexuality and wellbeing.
"One of the most enjoyable and steep learning curve experiences I have participated in, and the learning is fun…"
"Increased my confidence and developed my thinking around running programs."
"The exercises were different, confronting and relevant to youth work."
"Topic selection was really good – very broad and useful."

The course is accredited through the Australian National Training Authority and is designed around two units of competencies from the Community Services Training Package.

Course content overview

Topics covered include:
• what is sexual health work with young people and how does it fit with youth work?
• supporting diversity, including CALD, disability and Indigenous young people
• identity, homophobia and same-sex attraction, racism
• explicitness in sexual health training
• working with young men
• working with young women
• communication, negotiation and decision-making skills
• risk and safety
• legal issues
• contraception
• pregnancy
• sexually transmitted infections
• relationship violence and sexual assault
• domestic violence
• sexual health counselling
• designing a sexual health program
Methodology
The course sessions will involve small and large group discussions, interactive group work, guest presenters, videos and participation in online forums.
Reading lists as well as activities ideas for working with groups will be provided on a usb stick.
The course may be co-presented by the Course Coordinator and SHine SA Indigenous Youth Education Coordinator.

Courses in 2009
Course 1: 4–5 March, 1–2 & 29–30 April Course Code: SHN 9060026
Course 2: 23–24 Sept, 14–15 October & 4–5 November Course Code: SHN 9060025
Venue: SHine SA
64c Woodville Rd
Woodville SA 5011
Cost: $350.00 (GST free)

Places are limited, ensure you enrol early.

Flexible learning
An online version of the course is available for rural and remote workers, delivered over nine 3-hour sessions using a real-time online classroom. This requires the participant to have broadband, wireless or satellite connection to the internet.

Dates: 15, 22, 29 June 20, 27 July 3, 10, 17, 24 August
Course Code: SHN 9060027

Contact details
For course details or to enrol contact the Course Administrator on:
Tel: (08) 8300 5317
Email: SHineSACourses@health.sa.gov.au

SE&X course dates 2009

Here are the dates for the SE&X ( Sexuality,Exploration and Xpression) course for youth workers, community health workers, peer educators and others in 2009.

Course 1

March 4/5 -April 1/2 -April29/30

Course 2

September 23/24 - October 14/15 - November 4/5

OR if you live in rural/remote South Australia and cant get down to the face to face course there is an online version which starts on June 15

If you are interested in either option please contact me: Lud Allen

lud.allen@health.sa.gov.au

or go here for more information

Silly Interpretation

It is "unfortunate" that a recent study that found an association between teen pregnancy and viewing of sexual content on TV did not "factor in the impact of various approaches to sex education," Salon columnist Tracy Clark-Flory writes in an opinion piece.
Havea look at this article from 'medical news today here or here http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/128372.php

Scenario

In the SE&X course that I teach we often have online forum questions that we ask people to respond to: One such question goes like this.

One of your clients comes to see you, really excited as she now has somewhere to live. She has been without a place for several months. The house is owned by a young man who is living with 2 other young men. One of the conditions for her to move in is that she has sex with each of the men once a week. The young woman says she is fine with this.
What are you thinking?
What are you feeling?
What will you do?

Below is one of the responses from a person that is doing the course: I think this response is great and wanted to share it with you.

"What am I thinking?I would be concerned for her physical and psychological safety. I would be wondering if she has an abuse history. At the same time, being transient for a lengthy time is also risky and 'sex for favours' may not be overtly stated as an 'agreement' but may be the unspoken reality for young people-young women and men. "Survival creates strange bedfellows." I would be surprised if the young woman hadn't either been involved with this or been exposed to this, as she's 'fine with this'. I'd suspect that she's not completely fine with it but that its better than the alternatives. I would go through the various accomm options but realistically they are limited especially for those over 18. Under 18 the options are better but still restricted and there are waiting times. I would not be thinking of referring this young person for counselling for exploration of issues at this time. I would be mainly concerned about her immediate and longer term safety so I would be considering safe sex, (access to contraception & condoms), linking her with a youth health service, linking her with support. I think that I would be trying to work out a safety plan with the young person in the event that the situation becomes 'dangerous' (at least from her perspective) e.g making sure the y/p has emergency no.s for crisis support. I would want to try and remain in a support role for the y/p and would suggest counselling at a later stage. I find suggesting counselling too soon in the picture can result in it being rejected outright. While later its more likely to be considered. I think this is because in the early stage y/p sense they're being judged. "Counselling is for sick people I just need a place to live. I'm only doing this so I have a place. If you realised just how tough it is to survive you'd know why this is an ok option for me, its better than the streets. This isn't about me its about my situation." I would be respecting of the Y/p choices but would point out that the young men are using their power as 'home ful' to extort from the 'homeless'. I would try to link the y/p into services and would discuss mandatory notification requirements if the y/p was under age.What am I feeling?I'd be feeling sad and angry about the lack of accomm options available. Frustrated that I couldn't do more. I would be feeling extremely irate if the y/p was under age as the likelihood of FSA intervening is small due to resource issues and that is so wrong! Aust is signatory to the United Nations Rights Of the Child and yet so often young people are neglected and abandoned by the very services designed to assist them. I would be feeling good that the y/p person felt that she could talk to me as she hasn't got much support. I would be hoping that the young person felt that she could trust me to talk to again. It is always better to feel that only one person cares than to feel no-one does."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How about you - what would you do???????

Parents Talk with Adolescent Kids about SEX

This program looks really cool and I am excited about it. Here are some extracts: I found out about it in medical news today ( which you can see on the side bar)

Talking Parents, Healthy Teens is a workplace program that is designed to increase the comfort and skill level of parents who wish to talk to their adolescents about sexual health. The study sample consisted of 569 parents of adolescents (aged 11-16 years) who were randomly assigned to attend the Talking Parents, Health Teens program or to receive no intervention. Participants assigned to the program were in one of 13 workplaces in California and received 8 weekly one-hour sessions. "We'd teach them some skills one week, and they'd come back the next week bubbling over with excitement that they'd talked with their teen about relationships, love, or sex…their teen had actually engaged in a real conversation with them, or role-played a topic like how to say no to unwanted sexual advances." The researchers found that the intervention was quite successful, with immediate significant and lasting effects on parent and adolescent communication. The surveys indicated that parents who attended the program were more likely to engage in discussions of new sexual topics and to continue conversations that had been previously started and they were more open to communication about sex.

Go here to read more.