How do I tell my partner I have a body AND a past?

A great question and response about telling someone about your herpes (or anything). Thanks to Scarleteen for passing this on from Captain Awkward.com. Hopefully this is the sort of conversation you can have with the young people you work with.

Hello Captain and Company!

About a year and a half ago I had my primary outbreak of genital herpes. It was excruciating, both physically and emotionally, but I’m finally starting to pick up the pieces and feel like myself again. I’m starting to feel like I maybe want to date again, finally (yay), but I’d like to be prepared for the inevitable awkwardness of telling a hypothetical partner about the herpes. It’s an awkward enough conversation to have when you don’t have anything communicable. Herpes isn’t the biggest deal as far as STIs go, but it isn’t kittens and rainbows, either. Being honest has always been important to me, but it’s even more important to me now since the person I got it from wasn’t– between telling me he’d been tested, that he’d tested negative over six months after my outbreak, and that he’d show me his test results, there was certainly a lie. Herpes doesn’t happen spontaneously, and his test results never materialized. So I really, REALLY want to be open and honest about it.......

CLICK HERE to read the rest AND the response

Talking to a partner about sex

This is a tough issue, but one that comes up quite often. Whether it is a person wanting to ask their partner to change something, or even a young person wanting to broach the subject for the first time with another person, or a young person asking a worker for advice.

Several things may help though:

• The only way to know if your partner wants to have sex is to ask


• You and your partners/s can make up your own sex rules together


• Communication really is one of the keys to having your own needs met and meeting your partners needs.

Sexual communication is a skill: Like many skills it needs practice. It also depends on the subject: There are many ways and many things to talk about such as:

• New activites


• Difference in sex drive


• Talking about concerns


• Dysfunctions


• Revealing a fetish


• Wanting to talk dirty


• your illness and your sexuality

When a young person wants to talk to a worker about sex it really is important to find out exactly what they are wanting. Dont shut them down and dont turn away.

Compatability ???

People often ask me in the SE&X course things like:
How do you bring up a topic about sexuality with your partner(s)?
How can I talk about sexual compatability?
As far as I am concerened discussing anything with people depends on your level of comfort, knowledge,feelings, who the person is, what environment you are in etcetc.

Here is a link for those of you who are interested from about.com: sexuality regarding 'sexual' combatability. have a look around? What are youre thoughts??